What Moves You (to tears)?

Sometimes, it is the unexpected moment that brings me to tears. The big stuff often doesn’t do it. I think when faced with something really huge I am so busy trying to handle it that I am unable to let my emotions take over.

bday cardRecently, as I was cleaning up around the house, I inspected the contents of a small paper gift bag to make sure that I wasn’t throwing away anything important. To my surprise, I found an unopened birthday card. It was from a very dear friend. Apparently, neither one of us realized that I had never opened the card when we met for breakfast to celebrate a recent birthday. Her words caught me off guard. The message was so honest and sincere that it brought me to tears.

Another moment that surprised me was when Hunter got his braces off. That first smile after the last tooth was polished, was priceless. Why did that choke me up? I didn’t have that reaction when my daughter’s braces first came off. I can’t explain it. But, sitting there, seeing his beaming face, was enough to cause my eyes to well up and the emotion to get caught in my throat for a brief minute.

Are you someone who brushes aside the moments and falls apart when the shit hits the fan or is it the other way around for you? I find, more often than not, it is the moments that keep me going. Life is so complicated most of the time, that it is the small, almost imperceptible moments in time, that remind me to pause and reflect. If I am so preoccupied with the weight of the day-to-day, it is easy for me to lose my emotional self; the piece that reminds us what sets us apart from other living creatures.

I think we all worry so much about the big picture every day we forget to savor the little things. How good does that first sip of coffee taste in the morning? What about opening your eyes after a night’s sleep and seeing the one you love most on the pillow next to you? Or, the first time you held a baby — I bet you still remember that? Saying goodbye is often one of the most difficult moments to acknowledge and manage. Spending time with a long distance friend or relative becomes bittersweet when you have to say “so long.” That is a moment that I loathe and treasure at the same time.

When Hunter was in the early stages of transitioning from female to male (ftm), I remember being caught off guard one day when he walked into the family room and I saw him standing there; he was a stranger before me. I was struck by how boy-ish he looked in that moment. It was actually shocking. Ironically, I would be equally shocked today if he appeared before me wearing a dress and heels.

So, my friends, without intending to sound cliché, take time to smell the roses. Be present. Be in the moment. Be open to the possibilities.

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Shopping Sizing Tips for Trans* Masculine or Trans* Feminine

Shopping for clothes can and should be a positive experience. The following tips and tricks can be applied to any body – large or small, masculine or feminine, fat or thin, short or tall, and anyone in between or outside of the norm.

  • For the best results – KNOW YOUR BODY SHAPE AND SIZE!
  • Use a sewing tape measure (standard is 60”/ large is 120”) which can be purchased at any drugstore, craft store, or online and MEASURE

The 4 most important measurements are:

  1. The fullest part of your chest
  2. Your waist
  3. Your hips
  4. Your inseam

tape measureStore SIZE CHARTS are a shopper’s best friend and will vary from store to store. Most times, these store size charts can be found online at the store’s website and doing your sizing research before actually shopping will allow you to more accurately and confidently pull the right sizes off the rack the first or second time around!

Pay LESS ATTENTION to what “department” you are shopping in/from and MORE ATTENTION to finding the right fit and look you desire REGARDLESS OF THE GENDER OF THE CLOTHING DEPARTMENT OR NUMBERED SIZING.

Be creative and think outside of the box when it comes to finding clothing that fits, feels, and looks good – ESPECIALLY if the articles of clothing are UNISEX STYLES.

Examples:

Transfeminine folks might find that PLUS SIZE women’s sizing might provide a better fit than average MISSES sizing.

Transmasculine folks might find that BOYS sizing might provide a better fit than average MENS sizing.

Finding clothes to wear that look and feel good.

You and only you will be able to decide what you feel you are comfortable wearing. There is no right or wrong and just like anyone, shopping is about trial and error. So get out there and SHOP CONFIDENTLY – because when you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you look good!

This post was written by Aris, one of our Ally Moms.